So…Monday’s suck. There is absolutely no denying that. From start to finish, the typical Monday is a torturous boot camp made up of school, work, and various life obligations that feels like it lasts for decades rather than just a mere 24 hours. Waking up is painful, functioning is near impossible, and every little task takes an insurmountable amount of effort to complete. You go through the motions, trying desperately to appear awake and alert, while inside, your despondent heart and exhausted limbs are begging for the comfort of a lazy Sunday afternoon. Life is hard, man, and Mondays may just be the reason why.
No one understands life’s hardships better than the dynamic, drug-selling duo from AMC’s hit show, Breaking Bad. Walter White and Jesse Pinkman have experienced all of the worst things that life has to offer: injury, divorce, death, theft, illness, and, most of all, Mondays. Rolling out of bed and going to work in a Meth Lab hidden beneath an industrial laundromat is no more fun than dragging your butt to class, I promise. So I present to you: The Agonizing Story of a Typical Monday, as told by Breaking Bad GIFs.
Your alarm clock goes off. 5:45 AM.
First thoughts: Where am I? Why is it so dark? What day is it? Crap…crap it’s Monday. Oh my god, its not even 6 am. Is this legal? Who decided 9-5 were appropriate school/work hours? Why did apple choose to make this terrifying code-red noise its default alarm? I want to die.
You’re awake, though. Step 1 = Complete. Now you’ve got to actually get up.
Man, standing is difficult.
Before your legs give out, you stumble your way into the shower.
No actual scrubbing happens on Monday mornings; that requires too much movement. You slump against the tile wall, letting the warm water soothe your aching body. For a minute, you feel calm and blissful. But then you realize that the time has come to get out and the good feelings fizzle out.
Getting dressed is a violent and desperate battle.
You don’t even care enough to match your belt with your shoes, putting on your jeans is challenging enough.
Screw it, sweatpants it is.
You’re gonna need some energy so you decide to make yourself breakfast.
But the Monday blues are hitting you big time and you just sit at the table, zombiefied by the power of your own depression.
Unfed, unhappy, and completely miserable, it’s time for you to leave the house
and confront the real world and all its associated obligations.
Traffic packed seats, train delays, crowded subways, reckless taxi drivers…no matter what way you commute, it’s miserable. Somehow able to survive without causing injury to yourself or others, you make it to school and roll into your first class.
How are professors so bubbly at 8:10 am? What drugs are they on and were can we find some?
They try being inspirational, to awaken your soul to the joy of learning.
And you’re just like:
Confused, tired, and cranky, you somehow manage to persevere and making it through all your morning classes in one piece.
In fact, you may have even learned a thing or two along the way!
Yeaaaaah higher education! It’s paying off.
Noon. Lunch time.
Your stomach is growling like a rabid dog so you head towards your school cafeteria to see what’s on the menu. Lo and behold, it’s pizza! You pay half your weeks wages to get a slice but you don’t even care because you’re so hungry. You take a bite and nearly choke; the triangular piece of “food” you hold in your hands tastes like cardboard and tomato-flavored sadness. You’re livid.
With nothing but a dollar left, you grab yourself a packet of pretzels from the
vending machine and head to your afternoon classes to learn some more things.
(GIF via Tumblr)
They go a little bit better, mainly because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. 2 o’oclock, 3 o’clock, 4 o’clock…5.
HOME HOME HOME.
(Gif via Uproxx)
You walk in your front door, dying for some peace and quiet. But would you look at that, your entire family decided to come home early today and all of a sudden, you’re being bombarded with questions about your day. You start to complain about how AWFUL your Monday was but unfortunately, you’re met with no sympathy. Instead, you get a lecture.
There comes a point where you grow too old to be lectured and I believe that point is when you enter college. Apparently, parents don’t agree.
You get the same song and dance about how you’re wasting your life, yada yada yada.
(GIF via Tumblr)
And the whole time, you’re just like
(GIF via Tumblr)
But eventually, they stop.
They walk away and you head to the kitchen to become reacquainted with your best friend.
Ah yes, you’re never too old for the bottle. Finally, you begin to relax as you realize that you have conquered another Monday. You limbs feel lighter, your head feels clearer, and your mood starts to lift.
You turn on some music and let Kesha’s poppy beats invigorate you.
But then…it hits you. Tomorrow’s Tuesday and you have to do this AGAIN.
(GIF via Giphy)
You can’t handle the truth. Your mind goes blank, your heart begins to palpitate irregularly.
You collapse onto the floor, where you stay until 5:45 Tuesday morning.
How do you survive Mondays?
All GIFs via Buzzfeed unless otherwise specified.