Megan Simpson is a junior at Chapman University studying Creative Writing and Psychology. She loves movies, food, and cats, like any normal college girl. Her main goal in life is to finally get her dad to admit that she’s funnier than him.
In the spirit of finals season, this week, I wanted to do something a little different. Our normal “in-class thoughts” mostly go out the window when we’re taking a final (I mean, unless you couldn’t care less about passing that class) and we start to buckle down and probably freak out a little bit. It’s pretty general, but here are the 59 things that go through your head during a final:
1. Alright awesome, not late, nobody’s started yet.
2. You’ve got to be kidding me, a seating chart? Can’t she just space us out a little? We’re in college.
3. And I’m sitting next to the smelly kid. Yay.
4. Wait where’s my scantron
5. No literally where
6. Are you actually kidding me I am going to injure myself where the hell is
7. Oh it was between the pages of my syllabus for another class. Of course.
8. Okay we get it, stop talking or all of this last minute cramming will go to waste
9. Seriously stop talking I’m forgetting everything
10. STOP. Gah, what’s that song I made up to remind me of stuff?
11. It’s goin’ down… I’m yellin’ Pavlov… you better get… those dogs and bells…
12. And now Timber is stuck in my head
13. Like the real, unhelpful version
14. Awesome yay, we can begin
15. Okay, first question…
16. No, actually, I’m gonna write my name first
17. I’m gonna be so excited after I’m done that I’ll forget
18. Okay, NOW first question…
19. Oh it’s about Pavlov, I was just singing about him
21. What’s that buzzing?
22. Omg it’s definitely someone’s phone alarm.
23. Why is no one turning that off…?
24. No one’s even looking to see if it’s their phone.
25. Wait… is it MY phone?
26. Nope, definitely not.
27. Okay, where was I?
28. YAS done with the first page.
29. Okay its seems as though smelly kid is wafting their odor directly into my nostrils.
30. I wish perfume came in confetti form
31. I could just walk by him and make it rain
32. Yooooooo this question was NOT on the study guide
33. I don’t even think we talked about it in class, what is this blasphemy???
34. Wait oh no I missed a day of class… that’s probably when it was discussed and now I’m sitting here looking stupid.
35. I’ll come back to it.
36. Wait no these aren’t any better
37. What the heLL IS THIS
38. Is this in GREEK? THIS IS A PSYCH CLASS
39. I WAS UNPREPARED
40. I AM A FAILURE
41. Oh wait no I remember now it’s all so clear
42. ***ThAnKs SoNgS i MaDe Up To ReMeMbEr ThInGs***
43. Third page b*tches!
44. I wonder what number everyone else is on…
45. Wait is the person in front of me really on question 8??
46. Is EVERYONE on question 8??
47. Why am I doing this so fast? Is it because I’m not being thorough enough?? What if I’m totally glazing over???
48. Ugh whatever I get out of here quicker.
49. I have an okay grade in this class, I’ll be fine.
50. Man I wish I could see everyone else’s tests.
51. Not to cheat, just to compare where everyone is.
52. LaSt PaGe.
53. Is smelly kid on the last page…?
54. First kid has just gotten up to turn in their completed test. So glad it’s not me right now.
55. YES DONE.
56. Do I need to go back and review my answers?
57. I’ll just sit here and pretend to review until more people get up. Yes, that will make me look more contemplative and dedicated.
58. God, I’m way smarter than anyone gives me credit for.
59. I’m a genius, why am I even worry about this test? I already aced the test of LIFE.
Or something like that.
What usually goes through your head during a final?
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